Accountability

Yesterday was a rainy, indoor Sunday.  I was trying to wrestle the pile of dishes into submission while corraling the detritus of the kids' breakfast and starting a pot of coffee.  The kids were being terrors: fighting with one another, yelling "No!" me, throwing things, and dumping hot chili flakes into their pet potted plant, Gaga.  

I was determined not to yell, so instead I tried the subdued tones that their teacher Mitra uses to great effect.  It didn't work.  After about an hour of fighting a losing battle, I remembered a technique I read about in some parenting magazine or another recently, where you ask questions like: "What made you (do x)?" instead of "Why did you (do x)?"

"What," I asked, hands on hips, "is making you guys act so naughty this morning?"

They calmed down immediately.  "You keep talking in that mean voice," said Liv.

"Yeah," Cody said.  "And you keep telling us to go away out of the kitchen.  So we're doing naughty stuff, like putting pepper on Gaga."

"So what could I do that would make you not act naughty?" I asked.

"Sit down and read a book with us."

So I did.